- Courtney Stodden not only exists, but is frequently in the news for wearing stripper heels to the grocery store.
- Though we have a huge problem with poverty and unemployment, the current political discussion in the US is focused around chicken and magic vaginas.
- Everyone’s got their knickers in a bunch about this being a Christian nation, but there’s a Mormon running for office (Mormons don’t believe in the holy trinity or hell and there’s this whole thing about three heavens but I got bored reading about it). I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t believe in coffee.
- High fructose corn syrup.
- Miley Cyrus got a haircut. Are we really supposed to give a shit? There are bigger problems in the world, people. She’s a 19-year-old who had a TV show on Nickelodeon. Prioritize.
- Nobody smokes at concerts anymore.
- Honey Boo Boo is a reality show. I’m not completely sure what it’s about, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the apocalypse.
- American Girl dolls—seriously, I don’t get it. That shit is creepy. I really, really hope my daughter doesn’t get into those.
- We’re still talking about Kim Kardashian’s divorce.
Ten signs that this really might be the end of the world