Ten signs that this really might be the end of the world

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  1. Courtney Stodden not only exists, but is frequently in the news for wearing stripper heels to the grocery store.
  2. Though we have a huge problem with poverty and unemployment, the current political discussion in the US is focused around chicken and magic vaginas.
  3. Everyone’s got their knickers in a bunch about this being a Christian nation, but there’s a Mormon running for office (Mormons don’t believe in the holy trinity or hell and there’s this whole thing about three heavens but I got bored reading about it). I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t believe in coffee.
  4. High fructose corn syrup.
  5. Miley Cyrus got a haircut. Are we really supposed to give a shit? There are bigger problems in the world, people. She’s a 19-year-old who had a TV show on Nickelodeon. Prioritize.
  6. Nobody smokes at concerts anymore.
  7. Honey Boo Boo is a reality show. I’m not completely sure what it’s about, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the apocalypse.
  8. Monsanto.
  9. American Girl dolls—seriously, I don’t get it. That shit is creepy. I really, really hope my daughter doesn’t get into those.
  10. We’re still talking about Kim Kardashian’s divorce.

6 thoughts on “Ten signs that this really might be the end of the world

  1. austin

    I had to google courtney stodden, I am so old. And now I think I need to call the police or DHS? I’m confused. Where are her parents?

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