A friend from Washington State whom I haven’t seen in about 8 years sent me a box a couple of weeks ago. The box included a handwritten card. Here’s a direct quote from the card: “We read your book for book club! We all agree–you should be the next big thing!”
It’s no secret that I need constant validation. That card brought enough validation to last at least a week.
My prom dress was also inside the box. You heard me right. My prom dress. Through a series of unremarkable events, I had left the dress with my friend over a decade ago. I was certain that it was gone forever. There was talk of it disappearing in a yard sale. I wondered who bought it. I invented a story for the life of my dress: a young drag queen named Lance/Luscious had purchased the dress for $10. It totally made his/her weekend, and therefore I was okay with the dress being gone forever. But it wasn’t gone forever. It found its way back to me.
I pulled the dress from the box, which was bright pink Juicy Couture (even the box had flair). The dress is black sequin with a sheer midriff. My daughter saw it and said, “I like your tutu.”
I had to try it on immediately, right there in the dining room. I asked my husband to zip me up. He grunted a few times, but he was able to zip it. It’s tighter than it was twenty years ago, but it fits! I’m still not certain the grunts were genuine. They were probably added for dramatic effect.
So, here’s my plan: I’m going to become the next big thing and wear my prom dress on TV. Preferably VH1. I’ve always wanted to be just famous enough to commentate on one of their I Love the ______ (80’s, 90’s, Hair Metal, Mismatched Socks, Celebrity Meltdowns, etc.) shows. The first thing I’ll do on TV is give a shout-out to Kim Hixon for sending my dress home. The second thing will be to unzip the dress a little so I can breathe.