Deadly 777— Assassin Z

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Here’s how Deadly 777 works: when you’re tagged, you post seven lines from your current WIP’s page seven, and then tag seven other authors to do the same. I was tagged by my indie hero PJ Jones. She’s not me, by the way. My indie hero is not myself. That would be narcissistic and weird.

I’m not sure why this is called deadly, feels rather harmless.

I’m currently working on my very first YA novel, Assassin Z. It’s about a teenaged assassin (who is deadly) named Zoey, who’s recently been released from training and returned to normal high school.

Brandon was last spotted outside of a known drug-den.  It’s up to me to find out if he’s still there, and then kill him.  I have ten days to complete my mission. After I finish high school, my mission completion time will be reduced to two days.  The Judicious Termination Agency gives students extra time so we can focus on our homework.  It’s both condescending and considerate. 

It’s real now. 

 

Hopefully all of Assassin Z will be ready to share late this year.

Time to torture seven of my writing friends: Lisa Ann Hayes, Pete Magsig, Deedee Ulintz, Jeanne Adwani, Darian Wilk, Rachel Shurig, and Peter Joseph Lewis. Is this the deadly part? Do you guys want to kill me for tagging you?

 

Ten fun ways to make strangers uncomfortable.

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  1. When you’re in line at the grocery store, stand directly behind the person in front of you. About six inches is a good length to make the person squirmy. If he or she moves forward, shuffle forward to close the gap. If he or she asks you what you’re doing, reply with a simple “You smell like pickles. Dill, not bread and butter.”
  2. Go to a restaurant alone and request a table for two. Pretend to believe there’s a date named Ramone with you.  When the server approaches the table, fight with Ramone because he thinks you drink too much. Say, “Don’t judge me, Ramone! You don’t know my life.” Order for a plate of food for Ramone and pout when he refuses to eat. Get really drunk and give Ramone the car keys on the way out.
  3. Walk around with a “kick me” sign on your back. When people are kind enough to tell you it’s there, kick them as hard as you can in the shins. Then turn and run away while shouting “Stop trying to steal my minnows!”
  4. Take a taxidermied squirrel to an ice cream parlor. Sit at a table and lick the squirrel’s head repeatedly. This one also works at Taylor Swift concerts.
  5. Have Tourette’s.
  6. Walk around a convenience store with a large blood stain on your shirt, preferably in the stomach or chest area. Ask people if you appear pale. If they ask if you’re okay, laugh and say, “Is anyone okay, smartass?” Then walk away swaying a bit.
  7. Sit outside of Wal-Mart with a large empty box and a sign that reads “free puppies”.  When people stop to see the puppies, look in the empty box and start crying really hard.
  8. Wear bike shorts in public. This is especially effective if you’re male.
  9. Approach a stranger who is not wearing a hat and say, “I like your hat.” When he or she responds, “I’m not wearing a hat”, shout, “Why do you always say that?” and start laughing uncontrollably.
  10. Walk toward someone as if to say “hello”, but don’t speak. Instead, insert your index finger directly in his or her nostril. Not too deep, just around the rim. You don’t want to pull out any prizes.

Remember: a stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet!

A Father’s Day poem by Jesse Suphan

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He taught me to be self-reliant

 How to be Y2K compliant

 I’d get spanked if I was defiant

For the longest time I thought he was a giant.

 

He taught me to not be scared.

Always lets me know he cares.

He gets real mad when I drive impaired. …

On the radio Elvis always blared.

 

He’s always been my biggest fan

I’m not in prison cause he’s a legal man

TAKE OUT THE DAMN TRASH CAN!

When I’m in trouble he has a plan.

 

So happy fathers day

To a dad that’s far away

And I don’t know if it’s the proper way

But dear dad… I’m gay -Jesse Suphan

 

This is my friend Jesse:

ImageHis father denies any allegations of spanking.