SGSC Holiday Entertaining Guide

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When hosting a holiday gathering, there a few important things to remember.

Do: groom your nails. You can’t prepare food with dirty fingernails! Clean beneath them with something thin and sharp.  Don’t: stop until you see blood. Nothing says clean like removing the skin.

Do: brush up on current events for conversation topics. You don’t want to appear ignorant.  Don’t: come off too opinionated if you’re a woman. Nothing is more of a turn-off than a vadge with opinions. Just state the facts and smile, ladies.

Do: select the music carefully.  Don’t: sing along as if no one is listening. It’s annoying and you sound like crap.

Do: use decorative place cards.  Don’t: be afraid of controversy. Go ahead, sit the douchebags next to the asshats and enjoy the show!

Do: serve cocktails.  Don’t: roofie your guests.  It may seem like a good idea. But the reality is they will all pass out and be stuck at your house. Even the ugly ones you never intended to feel-up.

Make this year’s party one to remember, you crazy slut! Of course, if anyone can remember it, you probably did it all wrong.

6 thoughts on “SGSC Holiday Entertaining Guide

    • Your vadge has earned the right to its opinions. The kaboom shots, if I remember correctly, were a shot of vodka followed by a lemon wedge that had been dipped in instant coffee. Delicious! It was an Austin/Casey speciality.

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