Did ya miss me?

So sorry I haven’t been around lately. I’m addicted to Twitter. It’s ugly, y’all. I wonder if Twitter addicts should be called twats for short? That and I’ve been working on my friggin’ masterpiece, no big deal. And of course, it’s summertime (stands up and drops it like it’s hot, because it’s finally hot).

Let’s catch up on current events, shall we?

Madonna still isn’t wearing pants. Pretty soon we’ll be able to see her Depends under that leotard. Come on lady, put on some drawers! Sure, you’re in great shape. But the time for wearing only a leotard and tights in public passes once you hit double digits. If you’re old enough to menstruate, you should wear pants. This goes double if you’re old enough for menopause.

And speaking of adult diapers, what was Miley Cyrus wearing on GMA Wednesday morning? Seriously, it looked like a giant fuzzy diaper and KISS boots. We get it, you’re edgy. You can still have fashion sense and be edgy, Hannah Montana. Excuse me, Ms. Montana.

Speaking of sad children. North West. Really? Only this country’s two biggest narcissists would think this name is good idea. I really hope they’re just punking the press. This kid is already facing a life of therapy, rehab, reality TV crews, and paparazzi. Why add to that shit storm with a ridiculous name? Why do those two do anything, though? Maybe their egos will collide, explode, and kill each other (fingers crossed).

As for stuff that isn’t stupid: it’s a great day for equality. Divorces are for everyone! For real, it’s up to each individual to decide what’s right for him/her. It’s just common sense and common courtesy.  I feel so happy. You could say I feel…gay.

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