This has been the most miserable winter of my entire life so far. To spread a little sunshine, I’ve compiled a small list of songs to help us power through the cold.
Baby It’s Cold Outside (Dean Martin, She & Him, buttload of others): nothing will keep you warm like date rape by the fireplace. Come on, stay for one more drink. Because “gosh your lips look delicious.” That’s not creepy at all.
California Dreaming (The Mamas & the Papas): a song about a dude who’s so cold he goes into a church and lies about praying so the Priest won’t kick him out. Who knew John Phillips could be so naughty?
Cold as Ice (Foreigner): because if a girl dumps someone she’s obviously frigid.
Ice, Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice): some douchebag bragging about how cold he is. We’re all cold, idiot.
Long Cold Winter (Cinderella): a bunch of dudes named after a Disney princess singing about being cold because some chick left. Sounds like someone needs to grow a pair.