Stick to the book, wankers.

A lot of people are upset that Darren Arofonsky’s ‘Noah’ doesn’t follow the story in the Bible. Changing major plot points is an all-too-common phenomenon in Hollywood. Here are 5 movies that went too far from the author’s vision.

  1. Dude, Where’s My Car (2000): This movie is based on the 1979 epic novel The Car We Lost. In the novel, Chester Greenburg (played by Seann William Scott) is an aspiring mime who is in love with Jesse Montgomery III (Ashton Kutcher). Chester’s unrequited love drives him mad, and he kills himself by sticking a fireplace poker through his heart.

2.    Jurassic Park (1993): It’s a common misconception that this movie is based on a Michael Crichton novel. The truth is that it’s based on the 1991 thriller Party in the Back about a scientist who can’t face the end of the mullet culture, so he begins cloning rockers and rednecks. The mullet men take over the entire East Coast, leaving chewing tobacco trails and beer cans in their wake. The chilling novel drove many people to build underground bunkers in case there was any chance that it was a sign of things to come. Steven Spielberg decided to turn the mullet men into dinosaurs to present the work as a metaphor.

3.   Lost in Translation (2003): Sofia Coppola’s subtle masterpiece is based on the 1988 novel by the same name. In the novel, Charlotte (played by Scarlett Johnansson) can’t escape the feeling that her life is pointless and boring, so she disappears into Tokyo’s underbelly to live a life of prostitution. Bob (Bill Murray) becomes her pimp, and they live happily ever after. The novel also inspired ‘Pretty Woman’.

4.    Home Alone (1990): The 1965 novel Cannibal Christmas that inspired this movie paints a much darker portrait of Kevin McCallister (Macauley Culkin). In the book, Kevin creates a wacky series of booby traps in hopes of murdering his family and roasting their remains. I won’t tell you who lives or dies. You’ll have to read it yourself to find out!

5.    The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005): In the 1999 novel Purity Ring, Andy (Steve Carell) is a religious zealot experiencing an existential crisis. Andy has worn a purity ring since junior high, and it won’t come off. We follow the protagonist through a series of heart-warming misadventures as he tries to remove the ring. In one scene, he follows his friend’s advice to use mayonnaise as a ring-removing lubricant, and he ends up with his entire hand stuck in the jar. The goofiness is offset by touching moments, such as Andy reading boy band lyrics aloud to the woman he keeps chained up in his basement.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s