My future as a food jerk

As some of you know, I have migraines like a mofo. Well, I did until I got some handy dandy botox. Botulism for headaches, you ask? Yes, indeed. But I’m here to talk about gluten so stop distracting me.

Before the botox I tried going gluten-free to rid myself of those pesky headaches. The diet changes did help with the headaches, but really I just felt better all-around. I had more energy, fewer headaches, and that weird upper-arm rash I’d had since grade school disappeared.

Then I decided I’d rather have cake than be healthy. That’s not exactly how it went down, but I decided to start eating normally again to see what would happen. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say the extra bathroom time has allowed me to catch up on my reading.


So getting back on the GF train has been an up and down struggle for a few months now. For some reason, I can’t seem to make the commitment I started out with. I guess because this time I know it’s for real. My weird arm dots are back, I can’t get too far from a toilet, and I’m exhausted most of the time. It’s the freaking gluten, and I have to dump it for the rest of my life.

It’s like breaking up with a best friend. I pride myself in not having any weird food things. With the exception of being particularly picky about my hamburger-to-pickle ratio, I’m super easy to deal with at restaurants. Now I’ll be that “do you have a gluten-free menu” person. I’ve waited on those people and they’re assholes.

So I’m here today to announce my future as a food asshole. I hope you will all accept me anyway, as I’ll be less gassy and more energetic.


5 thoughts on “My future as a food jerk

  1. Penelope Wetterau May 5, 2014 / 12:36 pm


    Glad to hear that botox works for your migraine headaches. I have never tried it. Some foods can trigger migraines: orange juice, cheeses, chocolate, alcoholic beverages (all of them) and more specifically those that contain tyramines/tiramines. You find out by trying foods to see what causes a reaction. I know how much milk and how much dark chocolate I can consume before I get that ice pick plunging into the eye socket pain. Oh yeah, changes in barometric pressure is a major trigger for me. I have had migraines since I had ovarian cancer 20 years ago. They are lessening in severity and frequency as time passes but in the meantime, hang in there! Just some thoughts to share about coping with migraines.

  2. Penni Jones May 5, 2014 / 12:46 pm

    Thanks, PennY! When I went GF completely for a couple of months last year I was finally able to identify triggers. Before that the headaches were so constant I had no way of knowing. Barometric pressure is a big one for me. Red wine (sigh…) and fresh garlic (another sigh…) are problems as well. It’s interesting that yours started with ovarian cancer. Mine started after Molly was born. Another friend had major headache issues after a hysterectomy. It seems that there’s a clear hormone/headache connection, yet there is no cure.

  3. Penelope Wetterau May 5, 2014 / 1:50 pm

    Every day? That is no fun especially with two little ones! I am so glad you have some relief with Botox. I remember what it was like having two little people and daily headaches. Glad those days are over! Hang in there PennI!

    • Penni Jones May 5, 2014 / 1:54 pm

      Yes, it’s been great to find some relief! I’m glad yours are getting better, too.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s