15 Things only 2014’s MSU Delta Gamma Delta’s Can Understand:

  1. How much peach schnapps Kelsey S. can drink before she starts texting her psych professor.
  2. That Kelsey M.’s fruity milk booze punch can serve both as a beverage and a meal.
  3. Brittany K.’s urge to purge.
  4. Brianna T.’s kleptomania is merely a cry for help. But never leave your purse in her car. Am I right, girls?
  5. That doinking a Sigma Tau Omega is social suicide.
  6. Sisters share everything! So let me borrow that top, bitch.
  7. There’s nothing chocolate and new shoes can’t fix, except unwanted pregnancy.
  8. No sleep during Greek week! Seriously, falling asleep will result in someone shaving your head and peeing in your underwear drawer.
  9. That Brittany L. is not a slut. She’s just sexually liberated.
  10. Pretty girls don’t wear brown!
  11. You can only wear your hair in a ponytail on Mondays. That’s just common sense.
  12. Only lesbians enjoy poetry readings.
  13. Cotton underwear is only acceptable if you’re old, like over thirty.
  14. That Emily S. doesn’t have daddy issues, she just likes mature men.
  15. Where Kelsey Y.’s body is hidden.

2 thoughts on “15 Things only 2014’s MSU Delta Gamma Delta’s Can Understand:

  1. Penelope Wetterau October 8, 2014 / 8:16 pm

    What is this? It is funny and I assume these people are fictional as is the sorority. Right?

  2. Penni Jones October 9, 2014 / 12:47 am

    It’s all fictional, except #7. That’s the hard truth.

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