People are always asking me, “Girl, WHAT are you doing all day now that your kids are in school?” Well, I’m here to tell you that my life has never been fuller. Here’s a sample of my day:
7:45 Everybody out! See you on the flip-side, suckas.
7:46-8:00 Coffee time! This is when I unload the dishwasher, etc.
8:01-8:30 Catch up on the headlines. I need reasons to be depressed.
8:31-9:00 Forget what I was about to do so I sit on the bed and watch some crap from the DVR.
9:01-10:00 Weep for my wasted youth and listen to some tunes.
10:01-11:30 Write and/or lose time on the internet.
11:31-12:00 Weep for the day that is slipping away from me.
12:01-12:30 Lunch time! A girl’s gotta stay fueled!
12:31-1:00 Feel guilty for eating too much. Stand in front of the mirror and pick out my flaws.
1:01-2:00 Weigh the pros and cons of cosmetic procedures. Reassess my values.
2:01-2:45 Feel bad about my wasted day, take a shower, and start some laundry.
2:46 Time to leave for school! My little cherubs await.
After that it’s a blur of homework, lessons, snacks, and laughter!
Scapegoats and Sacred Cows 