Children’s books you’ve never heard of

My daughter brought home BJ Novak’s The Book With No Pictures from the school library last week. It’s a delightful book that we read 100 times before she returned it. But as a struggling writer, I have to acknowledge that for every children’s book that gets published (I was going to go into a rant here about celebrity books getting special treatment but I can’t because BJ Novak is a hella good writer), there are a thousand or so that never make it to the bookshelves. Here’s a small sampling of children’s books that you’ll never have the opportunity to read:

Your Parents Got a Divorce Because You’re a Jerk

You’re Right, Your Boobs Will Never Grow

When You’re Naughty God Kills a Child in Africa

Everybody Thinks You’re Weird

Santa Does Exist Because He’s the Devil

Your Mom is a Stripper, Not a Ballerina

Your Spirit Animal is an Earthworm

There’s a Portal to Hell in Your Basement But It Won’t Swallow You If You Obey Your Parents

So the next time you read a good book, please take a second to consider the writers who work hard every day only to be told that their books aren’t good enough or too creepy for children. Just because kids are sissies doesn’t mean that a talented writer’s voice should be ignored.



6 thoughts on “Children’s books you’ve never heard of

  1. Carolyn Collins June 1, 2015 / 12:22 am

    Oh yea!

  2. geezergirl1 June 1, 2015 / 12:50 pm

    you didn’t share that All those books were written by you. Come on… fess up.

  3. Penni Jones June 1, 2015 / 2:04 pm

    They are all on my list of projects I need to get to, Jeanne!

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