Divorce: a gift from celebrities

I promise I’m not one to enjoy the suffering of others. But with all of the terrible things in the news every single day, I’m so relieved for a big fat celebrity divorce.

demi-moore-and-ashton-kutcher
Remember when he doinked some random chick while Demi stayed home on their wedding anniversary? 

Today the headlines include slideshows of Brad and Angelina’s life together. We have timelines of their previous relationships. We have statements from “sources close to the family”.

depp
Sorry guys, your divorce is old news.

And it couldn’t have come at a better time. The news has been so depressing and stressful lately. I’d like to think the divorce was timed just for us, the anxiety-ridden American public. If only for today, it will be easy to avoid political news and heartbreaking headlines about terrorist attacks across the world.

clinton-vs-trump.jpg
Nobody’s listening to these two today unless they want to weigh in on Brangelina.

Am I proud to get wrapped up in celebrity gossip when it feels like the world is falling apart? No, way. It’s kind of disgusting. But who cares?

tom-cruise-katie-holmes
This divorce could have been enjoyable, but the Scientology gag order reduced our fun tremendously. 

This is no ordinary celebrity divorce. This is Brad and Angelina, you guys. They have tons of kids and tons of properties. They have a freaking estate in France. Nobody you know has an estate in France. And you probably don’t know very many people who have six children. This shit is gonna get ugly! Not as ugly as racism and fascism, but that’s fine.

brad
Thanks for saving us from world events.

Once the Brangelina divorce dust settles we can go back to giving attention to the terrorists and fathead politicians. For today, let’s speculate on whether or not Angelina Jolie is jealous of Selena Gomez.

All done with news

It’s been important to me for a very long time to practice a life of non-judgement. I only recently realized that I haven’t been doing a good job of that. Though I tend to spare my friends and family from judgement and quickly work to correct myself if I find myself judging a loved one, I am not granting non-judgement to strangers, and I am the one who suffers from this.

judgement-llama
Look at this asshole.

The media is constantly bombarding us with quotes from celebrities and politicians, or reports of their public missteps. The collective outrage gathers on social media, creating a divide and turning friends and acquaintances against one another. And stress is the only thing that follows. Nothing constructive comes from social media debates. We all know this. Yet we are still baited.

political-memes-011-facebook-meme-changed-my-mind

To tell the truth, I’m disgusted with what’s going on in our political system. Over the summer I suffered from insomnia more than I have my entire life. All of the name-calling, bullying, and outright lying are a scathing indictment of our society. But there’s not much I can do about it. I already know how I’m going to vote. There’s no point in torturing myself anymore.

I’m done.

bowtie.jpeg
A cat in a freaking bowtie, you guys!

I haven’t watched any CNN in about a week. And the feeling is glorious. I have decided I will only post ironic memes and cat photos on social media for a while. And I’ll be Zen as hell.

buddha

Peace!