PRO: Lupita Nyong’o is perfect. Her dress, her hair, her speech. Impeccable. Never change, Lupita.

CON: Everyone was obviously stoned. That’s what happens when you don’t serve alcohol. Either that or the teleprompters were written in hieroglyphics.

PRO/CON: One of the highlights of the night was Idina Menzel’s performance of “Let It Go”. We must all get past John Travolta introducing her as something like “Adela Dazeem”. We get it John Travolta, you’re so heterosexual you don’t even know Idina Menzel’s name. You guys know that I’m suffering from emotional dry-rot, but I can’t watch her performance without getting weepy. I’ve tried three times already.

PRO: If we ignore Angelina Jolie’s bitchy resting face, she was fabulous last night. Her super slow walk with Sidney Poitier ended in a beautiful speech that made her appear human instead of the fem-bot we’ve grown to accept.

CON: Julia Roberts’ lace doily dress. And Tyson Beckford calling her “Jessica Roberts” on the red carpet.

PRO: Ellen Degeneres did an excellent job hosting. I really hoped she would reprise Seth MacFarlane’s “We Saw Your Boobs”, and she spent a lot of time wandering around in the audience. But otherwise she was great.

CON: Amy Adams didn’t win best actress. She should always win everything.

PRO: “12 Years a Slave” won best picture.  We are constantly reminded in our culture to “never forget” when it comes to tragedies such as 9/11. And we shouldn’t. But we also need to stop burying this part of our collective history. If “Wolf of Wall Street” had won instead, I think we all would have lost faith in humanity.