All done with news

It’s been important to me for a very long time to practice a life of non-judgement. I only recently realized that I haven’t been doing a good job of that. Though I tend to spare my friends and family from judgement and quickly work to correct myself if I find myself judging a loved one, I am not granting non-judgement to strangers, and I am the one who suffers from this.

judgement-llama
Look at this asshole.

The media is constantly bombarding us with quotes from celebrities and politicians, or reports of their public missteps. The collective outrage gathers on social media, creating a divide and turning friends and acquaintances against one another. And stress is the only thing that follows. Nothing constructive comes from social media debates. We all know this. Yet we are still baited.

political-memes-011-facebook-meme-changed-my-mind

To tell the truth, I’m disgusted with what’s going on in our political system. Over the summer I suffered from insomnia more than I have my entire life. All of the name-calling, bullying, and outright lying are a scathing indictment of our society. But there’s not much I can do about it. I already know how I’m going to vote. There’s no point in torturing myself anymore.

I’m done.

bowtie.jpeg
A cat in a freaking bowtie, you guys!

I haven’t watched any CNN in about a week. And the feeling is glorious. I have decided I will only post ironic memes and cat photos on social media for a while. And I’ll be Zen as hell.

buddha

Peace!

Don’t let politics get you down!

The political ads and propaganda are only going to get worse for the next ten months. Some people are opting out of social media to avoid the arguments and bullshit, but some of us need social media for our jobs. Avoiding social media is out of the question for us, the internet-dependent worker bees. And no one can avoid people all together.

But you don’t have to put up with the constant irritation of political propaganda. Here are a few hacks to help you survive election season:

Block, block, block. Today I had the misled realization that none of my Facebook friends were posting things that I disagree with politically. That realization was followed up with another, truer realization. I had hidden or blocked all of my friends who posted things that make my blood boil. It’s surprisingly easy and effective!

Hey guy who sat behind me in 9th grade social studies, I don't care about your political beliefs at all.
Hey d-bag who sat behind me in 9th grade social studies, I don’t care about your political beliefs at all.

MMMBop them. If someone insists on poking you with political rhetoric, look them square in the face and sing a song that is both annoying and easy to remember. I suggest the Hanson hit “MMMBop”.

hanson2f-1-web
Annoying and catchy tunes are powerful weapons.

Change the players. If you accidentally read a headline, replace the names of the candidates with names from My Little Pony. For example: “Pinkie Pie thinks all Muslims should register with the government.” Kind of softens the blow, doesn’t it?

Stone-cold racist.
Stone-cold racist.

Don’t open any forwards from your parents. This one always applies because your parents don’t know how to delete the rows and rows of email addresses when they forward things.  But during election season, old-school parents tend to send things that are racist for reasons they don’t get.

We're not racist. We have a black friend.
We’re not racist. We have a black friend.

Start a swear jar, but for political rhetoric. If your office-mates can’t stop talking politics, make them put a dollar in a jar every time they bring up politics. In no time at all, you’ll have enough money for ear plugs and a white noise machine.

Don’t read news sites. My husband makes fun of me for avoiding the news. But it’s really depressing, especially during election season. I’d rather get my news from Jezebel and pretend that Diane Keaton’s hats have global influence.

Diane Keaton's hat has a plan for border control.
Diane Keaton’s hat has a plan for border control.

Become informed and back away. Please understand that I am not advocating political ignorance. It is important that you learn about the candidates. But do it on your terms. Learn the facts, ignore the negativity and ignorance, and get back to reading novels and coloring like the hard-working adult you are. If people keep bugging you, retreat to your fort.