- How much peach schnapps Kelsey S. can drink before she starts texting her psych professor.
- That Kelsey M.’s fruity milk booze punch can serve both as a beverage and a meal.
- Brittany K.’s urge to purge.
- Brianna T.’s kleptomania is merely a cry for help. But never leave your purse in her car. Am I right, girls?
- That doinking a Sigma Tau Omega is social suicide.
- Sisters share everything! So let me borrow that top, bitch.
- There’s nothing chocolate and new shoes can’t fix, except unwanted pregnancy.
- No sleep during Greek week! Seriously, falling asleep will result in someone shaving your head and peeing in your underwear drawer.
- That Brittany L. is not a slut. She’s just sexually liberated.
- Pretty girls don’t wear brown!
- You can only wear your hair in a ponytail on Mondays. That’s just common sense.
- Only lesbians enjoy poetry readings.
- Cotton underwear is only acceptable if you’re old, like over thirty.
- That Emily S. doesn’t have daddy issues, she just likes mature men.
- Where Kelsey Y.’s body is hidden.